Kid’s Humor on Marriage

Alan, age 10—You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Kirsten, age 10—No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides for you, and then you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
Camille, age 10—Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Freddie, age 6—No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Derrick, age 8—You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Sally, age 9—If they look mad at each other, they are probably married.
Lori, age 8—Both don’t want any more kids.
Billy age 7—They both want me to go to bed at 8 o’clock so mommy doesn’t get a headache.
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? Pam, age 7—When they’re rich.
Curt, age 7—The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
Howard, age 8—The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
Anita, age 9—It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
David, age 7— If you like each other then it is better to be married especially if you want to kiss her.

4 Every Overworked Person

In his 1970 book The Harried Leisure Class, Staffan Linder challenged the notion that time equals money. More money, he said, means more shopping and therefore less time. More recently, Juliet Schor argued in The Overworked American that the American workweek has been getting longer since the 1950’s—that we are a harried working class…
Whether harried from working or from shopping, we buy our homes in the suburbs to "get away from it all," which increases our commute. As a reward for the long hours at work, we build homes that are on average twice as large as those built fifty years ago, only to find they require double the cleaning and yard work. We buy labor-saving appliances and then feel the need to enroll in the local fitness club. The cycle of consumption leaves us rich in things but poor in time.

Give yourself a break.  Michael

Just for Teachers

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put an their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators…

It Is Better…

"It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error. It is better to speak the truth that hurts and then heals, then falsehood that comforts and then kills. It is not love and it is not friendship if we fail do declare the whole counsel of God. It is better to be hated for telling the truth than to be loved for telling a lie. It is impossible to find anyone in the Bible who was a power for God who did not have enemies and was not hated. It’s better to stand alone with the truth than to be wrong with a multitude. It is better to ultimately succeed with truth than to temporarily succeed with a lie."

Scientific Trinity

A good illustration of the Trinity comes from world-renowned scientist Dr. Henry Morris. He notes that the entire universe is Trinitarian by design. The universe consists of three things: matter, space, and time. Take away any one of those three and the universe would cease to exist. But each one of those is itself a trinity.
Matter = mass + energy + motion
Space = length + height + breadth
Time = past + present + future
Thus the whole universe witnesses to the character of the God who made it (Psalm 19:1).

Hell Is a Choice

C. S. Lewis once wrote: “There is no doctrine which I would more willingly remove from Christianity than [hell], if it lay in my power …. I would pay any price to be able to say truthfully: ‘All will be saved.’” Can you relate?

I had no problem with heaven. Heaven was perfectly consistent with my beliefs about God. But hell was another story. How could hell exist? And if hell didn’t exist, was heaven a myth as well? It was not an easy crisis to overcome, but through it God showed me some things that not only laid my doubts to rest but actually strengthened my faith. As much as I resisted the idea, I finally saw that without the reality of hell, God could not be a loving God. Confused? So was I.

But let me try to explain. If there is no hell, God is not just. If sin is not punished, then God is apathetic toward evil. If God is neutral on the subject of evil, then what does that say to the rapists and murderers and adulterers? What does it say to Satan and all he stands for? More important, what does it say to those who strive to be faithful servants of Christ? To say that hell does not exist is to say that God has turned his back on those who serve him. And in the end, it is to say that God and the teachings of Scripture are untrue. That question is resolved by simply looking at the abundance of evidence that proves the accuracy of God’s Word. The question is not whether hell exists, but why we struggle so much to resist the idea. Jesus didn’t shy away from the hard teachings about hell. More than half of his parables speak about God’s judgment of sinners, and 13 percent of his teachings deal with the subject of hell. No one in Scripture speaks more about the consequences of sin than Jesus. And that truth shouldn’t surprise us. God isn’t obsessed with wrath; he’s simply consistent with his nature. Hell is critical in the grand scheme of God’s justice and plan of salvation. God loves us dearly. That’s why he gives us the choice between accepting his love and rejecting it.

He doesn’t send people to hell—they choose to go there. He simply honors that choice in spite of the pain it causes him to do so.

Needing Motivation?

Although Peter Jennings’ father (who was a distinguished broadcast journalist for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) may have helped him get his first broadcasting job, Peter still had to prove that he could be a first-class journalist. His early chance came at CBC, where he hosted a half-hour radio show for children. Peter showed promise and dedication, and was soon allowed to host several public affairs programs.

Eventually, he became a special events commentator and the host of Vue, a late-night talk show. In 1964 Peter’s coverage of the Democratic National Convention in Atlantic City impressed ABC News President Elmer Lower. Lower immediately offered Peter a job as an ABC correspondent, but he turned it down. Three months later, Peter woke up in a cold sweat one night and thought, “What have I done?” He wrote Lower back and got the job.

In 1965, in an effort to boost their national broadcast ratings, ABC made Jennings the anchor of their nightly newscast. Although he did a good job, he did not have the qualifications to compete with Cronkite and Huntley and Brinkley. Jennings returned to reporting in 1968 and established himself as one of the foremost foreign correspondents. His in-depth analysis of the news gained him award after award. In 1983 Jennings was named sole anchor for the ABC Nightly News.

As he looks back on his career, Jennings admits that it was the role model of his father that pushed him to continue, to strive to be the best. “I’m still trying to live up to my father’s standards.”

Consider This: Pick a mentor with the kinds of attributes you desire. An example of excellence can give you the motivation to do and become your best.

7 Words To Change Your Life

One of the surprising best-selling books of 2008 is Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. Notice that the main title is only six words: Not Quite What I Was Planning. People were asked to succinctly sum up their life in six words.

Some were humorous. Joan Rivers wrote, "Liars, hysterectomy didn’t improve sex life!" Stephen Colbert said, "Well, I thought it was funny." Others were filled with emotion. Someone wrote, "Followed yellow brick road. Disappointment ensued." Or, "Should have risked asking, he sighed." The USA Today writer that reviewed the book offered this as his own: "Dad was Santa. Downhill from there." Maybe you can identify with the person that summed up their life this way, "Never really finished anything, except cake."

It reminded me of Jesus’ brief summation of two different people. To one He said, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." Seven words. To the other He said, “Depart from Me, I never knew you." Seven words.

Why does it matter how I use my time? It matters because time is short, it can be wasted, and we will give an account of the time He gave us at the judgment.

Spend your time well and watch those words.  Michael.

He Is Coming Again

Dr. George Sweeting once estimated that "more than a fourth of the Bible is predictive prophecy…Both the Old and New Testaments are full of promises about the return of Jesus Christ. Over 1800 references appear in the O.T., and seventeen O.T. books give prominence to this theme.

Of the 260 chapters in the N.T., there are more than 300 references to the Lord’s return—one out of every 30 verses. Twenty-three of the 27 N.T. books refer to this great event…For every prophecy on the first coming of Christ, there are eight on Christ’s second coming."

He is coming again.  Michael

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