Discovering God’s Ideal for Intimacy
DID YOU KNOW
Did You Know That the Most Romantic Book in the Bible Is Also the Most Avoided?
The Song of Solomon sits quietly in our Bibles, often skipped over in sermon series and glossed over in reading plans. Pastors tend to avoid it or over-interpret it, turning every verse into an allegory to sidestep the uncomfortable reality that Scripture contains some genuinely passionate love poetry. We’re often confused by it, unsure what to do with imagery that compares a woman to a mare (which would hardly be considered flattering in our modern context) or descriptions of physical beauty that feel foreign to our contemporary ears. Yet here it is, nestled between Ecclesiastes and Isaiah, unapologetically celebrating romantic and physical love.
But here’s what we miss when we avoid this book: the Song of Solomon is in our Bible for a reason. It’s not an accident, not a mistake, not something that slipped past the editors. It’s divinely inspired Scripture, which means God intentionally included a book about passionate, romantic, physical love between a man and a woman. Think about that for a moment. The God who created galaxies and governs the universe also cared enough about human intimacy to preserve a love poem in His Word. This tells us something important about God’s perspective on romance, sexuality, and marriage—it’s not shameful, it’s not merely utilitarian for procreation, and it’s not something to be embarrassed about. When experienced within the boundaries God designed, it’s beautiful, celebratory, and worthy of poetic expression. The couple in this song is entranced by each other, delighting in one another with an idealism and tenderness that can seem almost racy to modern readers who’ve grown cynical about romance.
Did You Know That Song of Solomon Shows Us What We Were Created For?
“‘Have you seen the one whom my heart loves?’ … I found him whom my heart loves. I held him and I would not let him go” (Song of Solomon 3:3-4). These words capture something pristine and ideal—a picture of what God created marriage to be before sin twisted and perverted it. The relationship described in this ancient poem appeals to what is pure in us, to that part of our souls that still remembers Eden, still longs for the original design. The lovers physically delight in each other and woo each other with affectionate words. There’s no manipulation here, no selfishness, no using each other for gratification. There’s genuine love, mutual respect, passionate desire combined with tender commitment.
We might be tempted to brush this off like other romantic poetry and literature—ideal, but hardly plausible in our world, which consistently chooses pleasure over love, instant gratification over covenant commitment. We further deconstruct the purity of the Song of Solomon based on the reality we experience or at least know about: the lust, sexual abuse, and promiscuous relationships that are rampant in our world and, if we’re honest, more rampant than we’d like to think even in Christian circles. Statistics about pornography addiction among believers, the rising divorce rates in the church, and stories of pastoral failures all conspire to make us cynical about whether this ideal is even possible. But despite our hesitations and the brokenness we’ve witnessed or experienced, we shouldn’t brush aside the fact that this book is included in the biblical canon. Its presence in Scripture is a declaration that the ideal still matters, that God’s original design still stands, and that we were created for something far better than what we’ve settled for.
Did You Know That Song of Solomon Points Us to Christ’s Love for the Church?
Throughout church history, theologians have recognized that the Song of Solomon operates on multiple levels. Yes, it’s a celebration of human romantic love. But it’s also been understood as a picture of Christ’s love for His bride, the Church. This isn’t reading something into the text that isn’t there—it’s recognizing the pattern that runs throughout Scripture. Just as the covenant relationship between husband and wife mirrors God’s covenant with His people (as seen in Hosea and Ephesians 5), the passionate pursuit and devoted love in Song of Solomon reflects Christ’s relentless pursuit of us.
Consider the seeking and finding, the longing and fulfillment described in the poem. “I sought him, but found him not” (Song 3:1), followed by the joyful discovery and the determination never to let go. This mirrors our own spiritual journey—the seasons when God seems distant, the active searching, and then the overwhelming joy of finding Him or, more accurately, being found by Him. The idealism of the Song isn’t just about marriage; it’s about the perfect love we’ll experience when Christ returns for His bride. It reminds us that we were made by a God who is perfect and intended for us to live bountifully, both in our earthly relationships and in our eternal relationship with Him. Every longing for perfect love, every disappointment with human relationships that fall short of the ideal, every ache for something more—these point us toward the ultimate romance, the day when we see Christ face to face and know fully even as we are fully known.
Did You Know That This Ancient Love Poem Should Give You Hope for Today?
The realization that Song of Solomon shows us God’s ideal should make us thankful that we live in the grace that Christ bought. We don’t have to despair when our relationships fall short of this ideal or when our world seems determined to pervert everything God designed to be beautiful. Through the Spirit, we can put to death the sins that entangle us—the lust, the selfishness, the cynicism, the resignation to brokenness. The presence of this book in Scripture is an act of hope; it declares that restoration is possible, that renewal can happen, that God’s original design can be reclaimed even in a fallen world.
This hope extends beyond our individual relationships to the broader redemption story. Song of Solomon helps us look forward to a time when all that is perverted will be judged, when justice will roll down like waters, and when we ourselves will be made perfect, purified from all the dross. Every marriage that reflects covenant love even imperfectly is a preview of that coming reality. Every act of faithfulness, every choice to pursue purity, every commitment to honor rather than use another person—these are glimpses of the kingdom breaking into our broken world.
So what do we do with this uncomfortable, beautiful, idealistic book? We let it challenge our cynicism. We let it awaken in us a longing for God’s best rather than settling for the world’s counterfeits. We let it remind us that God cares deeply about every dimension of our lives, including our romantic relationships and physical intimacy. We let it point us to Christ, whose love surpasses even the most passionate earthly romance. And we let it fuel our hope that one day, everything will be made new, every perversion will be undone, and we will experience the fullness of love for which we were created. Until then, may we pursue the ideal while extending grace in the reality, always remembering that our God delights in love—both the love between husband and wife and the eternal love between Christ and His Church.
FEEL FREE TO COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, AND REPOST, SO OTHERS MAY KNOW