“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)
Kids are an amazing blessing from God, but let’s be honest, sometimes they can feel like little intruders in our lives. I remember back in 1953 when our first son was born. It hit me that this tiny person was going to take up time and attention that my wife, Shirley, and I used to have just for each other. At times, I felt like he was intruding on our life. But now, looking back, I can see that my two sons have been a tremendous blessing, despite the challenges. They’ve brought so much joy and growth into our lives.
In the Bible, we see this sentiment echoed when Jacob meets his brother Esau after many years apart. Esau asks about the children with Jacob, and Jacob responds, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.” Our kids are truly gifts from God. Apart from our salvation and our spouse, they are our greatest gifts. It’s important to remind our children of this, to tell them, “Hey, I’m so glad you’re part of this family.”
Howard Hendricks once said, “Our children are not our prized possessions to do with what we want but are simply passing through our lives on to theirs.” Our role as parents is to guide our children through our lives and prepare them for theirs. We need to help them mature and make wise decisions. Luke 2:52 gives a great framework for this: “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” We need to help our kids grow mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. If we neglect any of these areas, we’re setting them up for challenges down the road.
God places this responsibility squarely on fathers (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21). It’s our job to lead our children and guide them in life. God gave the Israelites some pretty clear instructions on this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). We love God with everything we have by immersing ourselves in His word. Then, we are to teach these truths to our children in everyday life—when we’re at home, on the road, at bedtime, and first thing in the morning (Deuteronomy 6:7).
As fathers, we need to weave God’s truths into every part of our lives. When you’re out camping with your kids, tell them how God made the rocks, the sky, and the fish you caught. When they’re worried about a test at school, pray with them. If they get hurt playing sports, remind them that God is in control. Kids often have deep spiritual questions, especially at bedtime. Be ready to talk with them about God, heaven, and the big questions of life.
It’s been said that the first picture a child has of God is their dad. That’s a big responsibility, but it’s true. To give them the right picture, we need to relate God’s word to them in every area of life. They need to see that God is real and relevant to their everyday experiences.
The way we treat our spouse also speaks volumes to our children. They need to see Mom and Dad united in love and purpose, committed to each other and to God. This unity in marriage reflects God’s design and teaches them about healthy, loving relationships. Show them that you really care for and are committed to your wife, just as Christ loves the church.
Our children are more important than our job or even our ministry outside the home. They need our time and attention. A study once asked junior high students how much time their fathers spent with them each week. The average was just seven and a half minutes. We need to give both quality and quantity time to our kids. They need to know that they are loved and valued, especially during the ups and downs of growing up.
So, are you a good father? Ask yourself these questions: Are you gentle and compassionate when your kids are hurt? Do you also stand firm in your convictions? Are you dependable and keep your promises? Do you lead your family alongside your wife, without making her carry the full load? Are you humble, putting your children’s needs before your own? Do you forgive them and listen to their concerns?
Being a good father also means having fun with your kids. Whether it’s playing ping pong, taking a walk, or just hanging out, make sure you enjoy time together. And when it comes to discipline, remember that it’s about guiding and training, not just punishment. Set clear boundaries, enforce them consistently, and always do it out of love.
Respect your children. Don’t attack their personality or character traits. Respect their privacy and feelings. Remember, they are a gift from God. Learn to see them as blessings and guide them with love, patience, and faith.
Bill Greenaway
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Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and thought-provoking perspective on parenthood. I appreciate your reminder of how children are a blessing from God and how we, as parents, have the responsibility to guide them with love and wisdom. Your reflections on how to incorporate faith into daily life and the emphasis on quality time with our children are particularly meaningful. I’ll definitely be thinking more about these ideas in my own life!