Intentional Faith

Men who won’t grow up. Extended adolescence. Adultolescence. Arrested development. There are many ways to describe the fact that it is taking young adults – especially men – longer to “launch” in life.

The lives of young men and women have changed dramatically over the last 40 years. The changes are startling:

• Educated women. Women are now completing college at higher rates than men. About one-third of women age 25 to 34 have bachelor’s degrees, compared to roughly one-quarter of men. That’s much different than the college completion rates of previous generations.
• Not married by 30. The percentage of twentysomethings who do not marry until 30 or older has roughly tripled in the last forty years. In the 1970s, more than four out of five Americans were married by age 30. Now, a majority of twentysomethings remains unmarried.
• The global pause on marriage. The average age at first marriage is being delayed, among both men and women, going from the early twenties to late twenties. Americans are not alone; this trend cuts across many developed countries. Example: the average Danish resident does not marry until his mid-thirties (among men) or early thirties (among women).

Beyond the data, it shows people are searching for ways to understand and adapt to the “demographic event” that is replacing twentysomething marriages with urban, digital tribes of unmarried adults.

For faith and business leaders, this shift has major implications. It means that the “new normal” includes educated, capable young women. The “new normal” is also dominated by unmarried young adults. And it encompasses young men who are not as “launched” as we may expect. The challenge for churches, in particular, is that they are not as effective in working with unmarried adults as they are with conventional married-plus-kids families. Why is that?

The failure to launch is more than the plotline of a Matthew McConaughey movie. There are substantial demographic changes underway.

What do you think? How can we prepare our churches, communities and workplaces for the “new demographic normal?”

Source: http://davidkinnaman.com/2011/david/the-new-normal-demographic-unmarried-twentysomethings/

Mary lived in an occupied territory. Her homeland was under the iron fist of Rome, and the imperial forces kept her countrymen in poverty through excessive taxes and oppressive laws. In addition Mary’s own culture told her that she was hardly even a person. All of the laws and customs dealing with marriage dealt with the wife as property, and to most Israelites the noblest thing that a woman could accomplish was to provide a son to her husband. So Mary knew what it was to be humbled: to be weak and oppressed and pushed down.

But she also knew that God would lift her up! Somehow, the recent events had given her a glimpse of God’s kingdom, of his priorities. They had shown her that God cares for the lowly. God could have chosen a rich and powerful queen to bear his child—but he chose Mary—and she sees in that act God’s concern for all of those who are in her lowly position. And that is a radical idea. This scripture, known as Mary’s Song, has been banned by dictators, and pastors have been imprisoned for teaching it. Tyrants recognize that the idea that God sides with the oppressed threatens their regime and any hope of continued power.

So, we who are seeking to live out God’s upside-down kingdom must first expect God's deliverance and help! We must not allow our own poverty, powerlessness, or humble circumstances to make us think that God has forgotten us. He hasn’t. We must not let them convince us that we are unimportant. We aren’t. Next, we must act on behalf of the poor, oppressed, and marginalized of this world because God loves them!

Tyson Balcomb quit Facebook after a chance encounter on an elevator. He found himself standing next to a woman he had never met — yet through Facebook he knew what her older brother looked like, that she was from a tiny island off the coast of Washington and that she had recently visited the Space Needle in Seattle.

“I knew all these things about her, but I’d never even talked to her,” said Mr. Balcomb, a pre-med student in Oregon who had some real-life friends in common with the woman. “At that point I thought, maybe this is a little unhealthy.”

As Facebook prepares for a much-anticipated public offering, the company is eager to show off its momentum by building on its huge membership: more than 800 million active users around the world, Facebook says, and roughly 200 million in the United States, or two-thirds of the population.

But the company is running into a roadblock in this country. Some people, even on the younger end of the age spectrum, just refuse to participate, including people who have given it a try.

One of Facebook’s main selling points is that it builds closer ties among friends and colleagues. But some who steer clear of the site say it can have the opposite effect of making them feel more, not less, alienated.

“I wasn’t calling my friends anymore,” said Ashleigh Elser, 24, who is in graduate school in Charlottesville, Va. “I was just seeing their pictures and updates and felt like that was really connecting to them.”

To be sure, the Facebook-free life has its disadvantages in an era when people announce all kinds of major life milestones on the Web. Ms. Elser has missed engagements and pictures of newborn babies. But none of that hurt as much as the gap she said her Facebook account had created between her and her closest friends. So she shut it down.

Many of the holdouts mention concerns about privacy. Those who study social networking say this issue boils down to trust. Amanda Lenhart, who directs research on teenagers, children and families at the Pew Internet and American Life Project, said that people who use Facebook tend to have “a general sense of trust in others and trust in institutions.” She added: “Some people make the decision not to use it because they are afraid of what might happen.”

Ms. Lenhart noted that about 16 percent of Americans don’t have cellphones. “There will always be holdouts,” she said.

Facebook executives say they don’t expect everyone in the country to sign up. Instead they are working on ways to keep current users on the site longer, which gives the company more chances to show them ads. And the company’s biggest growth is now in places like Asia and Latin America, where there might actually be people who have not yet heard of Facebook.

“Our goal is to offer people a meaningful, fun and free way to connect with their friends, and we hope that’s appealing to a broad audience,” said Jonathan Thaw, a Facebook spokesman.

But the figures on growth in this country are stark. The number of Americans who visited Facebook grew 10 percent in the year that ended in October — down from 56 percent growth over the previous year, according to comScore, which tracks Internet traffic.

Ray Valdes, an analyst at Gartner, said this slowdown was not a make-or-break issue ahead of the company’s public offering, which could come in the spring. What does matter, he said, is Facebook’s ability to keep its millions of current users entertained and coming back.

“They’re likely more worried about the novelty factor wearing off,” Mr. Valdes said. “That’s a continual problem that they’re solving, and there are no permanent solutions.”

Erika Gable, 29, who lives in Brooklyn and does public relations for restaurants, never understood the appeal of Facebook in the first place. She says the daily chatter that flows through the site — updates about bad hair days and pictures from dinner — is virtual clutter she doesn’t need in her life.

“If I want to see my fifth cousin’s second baby, I’ll call them,” she said with a laugh.

Ms. Gable is not a Luddite. She has an iPhone and sometimes uses Twitter. But when it comes to creating a profile on the world’s biggest social network, her tolerance reaches its limits.

“I remember having MySpace for a bit and always feeling so weird about seeing other people’s stuff all the time,” she said. “I’m not into it.”

Will Brennan, a 26-year-old Brooklyn resident, said he had “heard too many horror stories” about the privacy pitfalls of Facebook. But he said friends are not always sympathetic to his anti-social-media stance.

“I get asked to sign up at least twice a month,” Mr. Brennan said. “I get harangued for ruining their plans by not being on Facebook.”

And whether there is haranguing involved or not, the rebels say their no-Facebook status tends to be a hot topic of conversation — much as a decision not to own a television might have been in an earlier media era.

“People always raise an eyebrow,” said Chris Munns, 29, who works as a systems administrator in New York. “But my life has gone on just fine without it. I’m not a shut-in. I have friends and quite an enjoyable life in Manhattan, so I can’t say it makes me feel like I’m missing out on life at all.”

But the peer pressure is only going to increase. Susan Etlinger, an analyst at the Altimeter Group, said society was adopting new behaviors and expectations in response to the near-ubiquity of Facebook and other social networks.

“People may start to ask the question that, if you aren’t on social channels, why not? Are you hiding something?” she said. “The norms are shifting.”

This kind of thinking cuts both ways for the Facebook holdouts. Mr. Munns said his dating life had benefited from his lack of an online dossier: “They haven’t had a chance to dig up your entire life on Facebook before you meet.”

But Ms. Gable said such background checks were the one thing she needed Facebook for.

“If I have a crush on a guy, I’ll make my friends look him up for me,” Ms. Gable said. “But that’s as far as it goes.”

[From New York Times]

"The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already." ~ John Buchan

Being the senior leader of an organization is a tough job. Of course, if you are a senior leader, you already know this. People at all levels of your organization regularly place a diverse array of expectations on you and your time. Everyone, it seems, has an opinion on how you should do your job and even what your job should be. And they don’t mind telling you (and/or everyone else) when they don’t think you’re doing it right.

In such a cacophonous environment full of disparate and often opposing demands, it can be difficult for senior leaders to discern just where the lines should be drawn between their job and everyone else’s. Regardless of the size of the organization or the specifics of your particular org chart, what are the roles all senior leaders must fulfill in order for their organization to thrive and grow? Opinions vary—so here’s mine: a list of a few of the roles that I believe are essential for all senior leaders to hold.

1. Keeper of the Mission & Vision for the organization:

Part of your role is to champion the Mission & Vision of your organization and to ensure the team is always moving toward those ends. Because Vision leaks and Mission slips out of focus over time, you have to make it your job to keep the Mission front and center in your people’s eyes, and keep casting vision for the better world you’re all trying to create by pursuing it. And while you should consistently avoid micro-managing your people, in any area where you see the Vision or Mission not being effectively pursued and honored, you have full authority to step in and make whatever changes are necessary to bring that area back in alignment with the Mission & Vision.

2. Keeper of the Values:

Another part of your role is to continually promote and champion the core values of the organization. Every action you take, every conversation you have, every request you make of your team needs to be clearly grounded in and motivated by one or more of your organization’s core values. Anything you’re doing that can’t be directly tied to your core values in this way—either drop it or delegate it to someone else. As the visionary leader of your organization, you are the embodiment of the values. If you don’t live them, who will? As with Mission & Vision, anytime you see the values not being honored in a process or project, you have full authority to step in and do whatever is required to see that the core values are not undermined.

3. Voice of Reality:

Many leadership experts say the chief job of a leader is to “define reality” for those they lead. Another perhaps more useful way to say this is simply “naming what is going on.” Part of the role of Senior Leader is to help the team see the truth of where they are and what needs to happen next to move forward. In this sense, you become like the “red dot” on the map in the shopping mall, identifying “We Are Here.” This defining work includes several areas, such as where we are financially, where we are relationally, where we are with respect to our Mission, Vision, & goals, where we are in relation to our values, and so on.

4. Developer of Teams:

In particular, the core leadership team of the organization. Part of your role is to lead, coach, and mentor the core group of leaders who report directly to you and have significant oversight over the organization as a whole. For you to do this effectively, this team must be filled with people who you believe in and trust and who (like you) think in terms of “we” instead of “me”. You have full authority to choose those team members that you know you can work with and who have the appropriate skills for this role.

5. Chief Encourager and Celebrator:

Senior Leaders are typically wired to always be pushing forward toward the next challenge, so this can be a tough role for them to fill. But celebration and affirmation for a job well done is a critical part of every senior leader’s job. You must be the champion and cheerleader for those you lead—frequently encouraging them as they move toward a goal and regularly pausing to reflect on both victories and defeats and celebrate success as well as lessons learned. This rhythm of engagement and reflection/celebration is essential to your team’s overall health and critical to your role as their leader.

6. Final Gatekeeper for Hiring:

While you need not be a part of hiring every person in your organization, you need to be clear on which positions in the organization that you want final say over when it comes to hiring, being careful to select those who not only have the skills needed for a particular position but also have the necessary character and willingness to live out the Values, Mission, and Vision of the organization.

A new Barna Group study illustrates that no single Christian leader captures the attention of the nation’s population. When asked to identify the single most influential Christian leader in the U.S. today, two out of every five Americans (41%) are unable to think of anyone who would meet that description.

Billy Graham is the name mentioned most often in response to the unaided survey question (a measure often described as “top-of-mind” awareness). One out of five Americans names the octogenarian evangelist, with 19% of adult residents identifying Mr. Graham as the nation’s most influential Christian leader.

Half as many adults (9%) believe “the Pope” or Pope Benedict to be the most significant Christian leader in the nation. Nearly the same proportion (8%) considers President Barack Obama to hold this prominent role.

One out of 20 U.S. adults (5%) think that Joel Osteen is the most significant Christian leader, more than double the proportion that name Charles Stanley (2%) or Joyce Meyer (2%). A variety of individuals – including pastors, ministry leaders, authors, politicians, and other public figures – are considered the highest ranking Christian leaders by 1% of U.S. adults each. These include: Franklin Graham, George W. Bush, T.D. Jakes, Oprah Winfrey, James Dobson, and Maya Angelou. All other individuals are named by less than 1% of Americans.

Subgroup Findings
Some differences emerged in a review of the findings by faith segments and by age of respondent as noted below:

§ Evangelical Christians are more likely than average to name Billy Graham (35%), Joyce Meyer (12%) and Franklin Graham (5%) as the most influential Christian leaders in the U.S. today. No evangelicals consider Pope Benedict, President Barack Obama, George W. Bush, T.D. Jakes, Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, or Charles Stanley to hold this role.

§ A majority of adults who are atheists and agnostics (65%) or of a non-Christian faith (52%) are unable to think of anyone they would name as an influential Christian leader.

§ Those of another, non-Christian faith are more inclined to name Charles Stanley (7%), George W. Bush (4%), or Oprah Winfrey (4%) as the most significant Christian leader.

§ Protestants are more likely than average to name Billy Graham as the most significant leader (31%), while Catholics are just as likely to name the Pope (32%).

§ Elders, ages 66 and older (31%), and Boomers, ages 47 to 65 (27%) are more inclined to name Billy Graham as the most influential leader, while younger adults – Busters 28 to 46 (12%) and Mosaics 18 to 27 (4%) – are far less likely to do so.

Observations
“Researchers place a lot weight on top-of-mind awareness measures,” explained Lynn Hanacek, Barna Group vice president of research and project director. “It is a type of unaided awareness measurement – meaning that respondents answer on their own with no response options presented to them. It reflects the very first name that comes to mind – and is typically given even greater importance since it suggests that the person, brand or organization has made a lasting impression.”

Although most Americans can name someone they consider to be a highly influential Christian leader, few leaders have made such an impression on the population. “Looking at the big picture, only a limited number of individuals come to mind when Americans consider leadership of Christians on a national scale,” remarked Hanacek. “However, bear in mind that a different type of measurement such as aided awareness, in which respondents are asked if they ever heard of a specific name, may have yielded different results.”

The research illustrates some challenges and opportunities for Christians in the U.S. Long-time leader Billy Graham has more than twice the top-of-mind awareness of any other individual mentioned – but he is most well-known among older Americans and barely mentioned by the youngest adults in this country. In terms of national Christian leadership, there may well be a gap to be filled. However, it is also likely that leadership may be perceived differently at this time in our society. If the role and relevance of national faith leadership is waning, it suggests an opportunity for more local and regional Christian leaders to emerge – whether in churches, ministries or a variety of other capacities.

“There is an interesting but not surprising commonality among those top Christian leaders in this study,” noted Hanacek. “All of them have a strong media presence – whether through their own active ministry efforts or through various types of media coverage.” Those organizations and individuals who aspire to lead and serve on a broad national scale will clearly need to make effective use of all types of media and communications technologies.

November 16, 2011

The Barna Group team spent much of the last five years exploring the lives of young people who drop out of church. The research provides many insights into the spiritual journeys of teens and young adults.

Myth 1: Most people lose their faith when they leave high school.
Reality: There has been considerable attention paid to the so-called loss of faith that happens between high school and early adulthood. Some have estimated this dropout in alarming terms, estimating that a large majority of young Christians will lose their faith. The reality is more nuanced. In general, there are three distinct patterns of loss: prodigals, nomads, and exiles.

One out of nine young people who grow up with a Christian background lose their faith in Christianity—a group described by the research team as prodigals. In essence, prodigals say they have lost their faith after being a Christian at some time in their past.

More commonly, young Christians wander away from the institutional church—a pattern the researchers labeled nomads. Roughly four out of ten young Christians fall into this category. They still call themselves Christians but they are far less active in church than they were during high school. Nomads have become ‘lost’ to church participation.

Another two out of ten young Christians were categorized as exiles, those who feel lost between the "church culture" and the society they feel called to influence. The sentiments of exiles include feeling that "I want to find a way to follow Jesus that connects with the world I live in," "I want to be a Christian without separating myself from the world around me" and "I feel stuck between the comfortable faith of my parents and the life I believe God wants from me."

Overall, about three out of ten young people who grow up with a Christian background stay faithful to church and to faith throughout their transitions from the teen years through their twenties.

David Kinnaman, who directed the research, concluded: "The reality of the dropout problem is not about a huge exodus of young people from the Christian faith. In fact, it is about the various ways that young people become disconnected in their spiritual journey. Church leaders and parents cannot effectively help the next generation in their spiritual development without understanding these three primary patterns. The conclusion from the research is that most young people with a Christian background are dropping out of conventional church involvement, not losing their faith."

Myth 2: Dropping out of church is just a natural part of young adults’ maturation.
Reality: First, this line of reasoning ignores that tens of millions of young Christians never lose their faith or drop out of church. Thus, leaving church or losing faith should not be a foregone conclusion.

Second, leaving church has not always been normative. Evidence exists that during the first half of the 1900s, young adults were not less churched than were older adults. In fact, Boomers appear to be the first American generation that dropped out of church participation in significant numbers when they became young adults. So, in one sense, the Boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) were part of the evolution of the church dropout phenomenon during the rise of youth culture of the 1960s.

In addition to continuing the dropout pattern of previous generations, today’s teens and young adults (identified by Barna Group as Mosaics) are spiritually the most eclectic generation the nation has seen. They are also much less likely than prior generations to begin their religious explorations with Christianity. Moreover, their pervasive technology use is deepening the generation gap, allowing Mosaics (often called Millennials of Gen Y) to embrace new ways of learning about and connecting to the world.

Kinnaman commented on this myth: "The significant spiritual and technological changes over the last 50 years make the dropout problem more urgent. Young people are dropping out earlier, staying away longer, and if they come back are less likely to see the church as a long-term part of their life. Today’s young adults who drop out of faith are continuing something the Boomers began as a generation of spiritual free agents. Yet, today’s dropout phenomenon is a more intractable, complex problem." [Note: See Myth 5 for more about how the dropout problem has changed.]

Myth 3: College experiences are the key factor that cause people to drop out.
Reality: College certainly plays a role in young Christians’ spiritual journeys, but it is not necessarily the ‘faith killer’ many assume. College experiences, particularly in public universities, can be neutral or even adversarial to faith. However, it is too simplistic to blame college for today’s young church dropouts. As evidence, many young Christians dissociate from their church upbringing well before they reach a college environment; in fact, many are emotionally disconnected from church before their 16th birthday.

"The problem arises from the inadequacy of preparing young Christians for life beyond youth group." Kinnaman pointed to research findings showing that "only a small minority of young Christians has been taught to think about matters of faith, calling, and culture. Fewer than one out of five have any idea how the Bible ought to inform their scholastic and professional interests. And most lack adult mentors or meaningful friendships with older Christians who can guide them through the inevitable questions that arise during the course of their studies. In other words, the university setting does not usually cause the disconnect; it exposes the shallow-faith problem of many young disciples."

Myth 4: This generation of young Christians is increasingly "biblically illiterate."
Reality: The study examined beliefs across the firm’s 28-year history, looking for generational gaps in spiritual beliefs and knowledge. When comparing the faith of young practicing faith Christians (ages 18 to 29) to those of older practicing Christians (ages 30-plus), surprisingly few differences emerged between what the two groups believe. This means that within the Christian community, the theological differences between generations are not as pronounced as might be expected. Young Christians lack biblical knowledge on some matters, but not significantly more so than older Christians.

Instead, the research showed substantial differences among those outside of Christianity. That is, older non-Christians were more familiar than younger non-Christians with Bible stories and Christian theology, even if they did not personally embrace those beliefs.

The Barna president described this as "unexpected, because one often hears how theologically illiterate young Christians are these days. Instead, when it comes to questions of biblical literacy, the broader culture seems to be losing its collective understanding of Christian teachings. In other words, Christianity is no longer ‘autopilot’ for the nation’s youngest citizens.

"Many younger Christians are cognizant that their peers are increasingly unfriendly or indifferent toward Christian beliefs and commitment. As a consequence, young Christians recognize that the nature of sharing one’s faith is changing. For example, many young Christians believe they have to be more culturally engaged in order to communicate Christianity to their peers. For younger Christians, matters of orthodoxy are deeply interconnected with questions of how and why the Gospel advances among a post-Christian generation."

Myth 5: Young people will come back to church like they always do.
Reality: Some faith leaders minimize the church dropout problem by assuming that young adults will come back to the church when they get older, especially when they have children. However, previous research conducted by Barna Group raises doubts about this conclusion.

Furthermore, the social changes since 1960 make this generation much less likely to follow the conventional path to having children: Mosaics (often called Millennials or Gen Y) are getting married roughly six years later than did the Boomers; they are having their first child much later in life; and they are eight times more likely than were the youth of the 1960s to come from homes where their own biological parents were never married.

The author of the new Barna book, You Lost Me, Kinnaman asked several questions in response to conventional wisdom: "If this generation is having children later in life, are church leaders simply content to wait longer? And if Mosaics return, will they do so with extra burdens—emotional, financial, spiritual, and relational—from their years apart from Christian community? More to the point, what if Mosaics turn out to be a generation in which most do not return?

"Churches, organizations and families owe this generation more. They should be treated as the intelligent, capable individuals they are—a generation with a God-given destiny. Renewed commitment is required to rethink and realign disciple-making in this new context. Mosaic believers need better, deeper relationships with other adult Christians. They require a more holistic understanding of their vocation and calling in life—how their faith influences what they do with their lives, from Monday through Saturday. And they also need help discerning Jesus’ leading in their life, including greater commitment to knowing and living the truth of Scripture."

In the middle of the economic recession and the Occupy Wall Street protests, residents’ economic mood and outlook has been well documented. Yet, underlying emotional and identity factors are often overlooked, such as whether Americans feel they are fulfilling their own personal potential or not.

A new study by Barna Group examines these kinds of indicators, looking at how Americans think about their lives these days. Four characteristics of millions of residents emerged from the survey.

1. One-third of Americans are struggling to live to their "fullest potential."
One out of every three adults in this country say they are not living life to their fullest potential, including those who say they are "not at all" (6%) or "not much" (26%). A slim majority of adults (57%) feel they are "mostly" fulfilling their potential, while about one out of eight (12%) feel "completely" fulfilled. Those most likely to feel they are fulfilling their potential include Elders (ages 65-plus), practicing Christians, and Bible readers.

Interestingly, education was correlated with fulfillment, but only to a certain point: college graduates were some of the least dissatisfied, but they were also some of the least likely to feel completely fulfilled. A similar pattern emerged with regard to personal economics: the wealthiest Americans were some of the most likely to give extreme responses, either very fulfilled or very unfulfilled.

2. Seventy million Americans feel held back by their past.
Overall, 70 million Americans (31% of adults) feel "held back or defined by something in their past." This perception was most commonly expressed by younger adults, blacks, divorced adults, unmarried individuals, and those who have some college experience but never completed their degree. Those with a practicing faith were among the least likely to feel defined or held back by their past. Lower-income households were more likely than average (38%) to feel defined by their past, though 25% of higher-income households were also likely to share this perception.

3. Nearly 70 million Americans are dealing with emotional conflict.
When asked if they are dealing with unresolved emotional pain or conflict in life, three out of 10 adults (30%) confirm this description is a present reality for them. This perception was most common among lower-income adults, divorcees, women, and those with no faith allegiance. Married adults, Elders, men, and practicing Christians were the least likely to be dealing with unresolved emotional conflict.

4. One-sixth of Americans are wrestling with the role of church and religion.
In total, 15% of Americans said their experiences with religion have caused them to question God, a sentiment that was most common among twentysomethings, college graduates, unmarried adults, non-Christians, and unchurched adults. Similarly, 16% of Americans said they have been hurt by experiences in churches. This perception was most common among women, Boomers (the generation born between 1946 and 1964), and divorced adults.

Conclusions
David Kinnaman, president of the Barna Group, directed the survey. He pointed out: "In recent weeks the Occupy Wall Street movement has focused on the economic gap between the wealthiest one percent of the population and the remaining 99 percent. As others have observed this movement reflects a mix of anti-institutionalism and disillusionment with the economy, government and financial industry.

"But perhaps Americans’ growing dissatisfaction with institutions is more influenced than they realize by their own personal expectations and experiences. While people are increasingly skeptical of external forces, like religion and government, the research shows that internal doubts about fulfillment, faith, emotion and personal history significantly define millions of the nation’s residents."

Some lessons you learn by reading books and blogs. Those feel great.

However, the most life-changing lessons are often learned through painful mistakes and brutal moments in valleys so low that you aren’t sure if you’ll ever climb out. Over the past year, I’ve been in that valley, and while I was down there, I learned some lessons that probably took a few years off my life expectancy in the process. I will be a better leader this day forward knowing these things. I want you to know them, but this is a blog and you’re so hardheaded that you’ll probably have to learn them the hard way, too. Here they are anyway…

(Remember – these lessons cost me a few fingers and toes so I hope you pay attention.)

1. Start a thing as close to the way you dream it being down the road as you can.

For 10 whole years before I started Courageous Church, I dreamed of it being one thing, started it as another, then spent the next 3 years trying to get it back to the church of my dreams. I own this. The vision of my heart was for a committed community of people that first and foremost served God in radical ways in inner city Atlanta and in broken places all around the world. Sunday morning would simply be the time when those people came together to celebrate and honor God and invite others into our Monday-Saturday adventure.

Instead, I started a super cool Sunday worship service centered church with 700 people and spent the next 3 years begging thousands of people to help me be the hands and feet of God by fighting child trafficking and caring for widows and orphans. I was advised by the best church planting experts in the world to go this route, but in the end, it was my decision, and it was the wrong one. I sold my soul for church attendance in our first week and could never quite get it back. Whatever it is you are starting (a business, a new job, a church, etc.), you need to remain as true to your core vision from the start as humanly possible, or you may find yourself lost in an unfamiliar place so far from your dream that you don’t even recognize it. That’s me right now.

2. People L.O.V.E to hear about radical change. They just don’t love making it.

Political campaigns based on radical change win. Books written about radical change sell. Sermons on radical change boost Sunday morning attendance. The idea and thought of change is exciting to people, but mistaking that excitement for an actual willingness on behalf of those people to change now or later could be a miscalculation. I found out the hard way.

In March of this year, I announced I was preaching my last sermon series of all-time. For the next 8 weeks, I preached the most radical, game-changing sermon series ever entitled “Disciple.” Our average attendance was its highest ever. Our average offering was the highest ever. Excitement was its highest ever. Man, I was pumped!!

Then, almost literally the day we jumped into change, all types of stuff started falling apart. People left in droves. Scores of people started falling through on leadership commitments they made. Systems starting failing. Attendance was down. Offering was down. Excitement was down.

I had no idea that zero correlation exists between how much people love hearing about change and their actual willingness to make it. I then made a series of gross errors that really cost me dearly based on what I incorrectly assumed was a desire for people to change when, for most people, what existed was just an interest in the topic on a theoretical level. Here are some of the errors:
I seriously overestimated how excited (or even willing) people were to actually do the things I was talking about.
When people left our church saying they did not support the changes, I did what I never do and helped talked them in to staying. I meant well, but this was so dumb of me. These folk stayed but never earnestly fought for the vision because, as they already stated, they don’t believe in it.
Change sounds pretty but actually looks ugly, feels like hard labor, takes time, and pushes every limit we have. I had said that the changes I was suggesting could take 3 years to really nail down. Few people objected when I said that because we hadn’t actually changed yet. When I took a private poll just 3 months after we made changes, over 85% of people stated that they wanted to go back to the way things used to be. Our board did as well. I overestimated how willing folks would be to deal with the ugliness of it all.
These miscalculations also took an enormous toll on my family and me, and it was at this point that I decided that I could not lead the church back to a place where I had no heart, vision, or stamina to go. The death of Pastor Zach Tims shook me up in such a way that I didn’t want to ignore my own warning signs before it was too late, and I ended up losing my family (or my life) in the process.

3. Few disciples of Jesus Christ actually exist in the world.

I’m not even saying I am one and nobody else is. I have to fight the battle for my own discipleship daily. What I am saying is that church attendance, Sunday morning services, sermon-listening (or even sermon preaching), song-singing, hand-clapping, amen-saying, and all of the things that “Christ-ians” have lifted up so high look so little like Christ himself that I am utterly convinced that we are completely off base with what discipleship means.

Considering all of this, I think I have given up on church as I knew it. Big buildings. Huge crowds. Few disciples. I’m not with it. It’s inefficient and just doesn’t feel right with my soul. This is not a rejection of big buildings or huge crowds but an indictment on how few disciples are being made in the process of it all. A better way has to exist.

Shaun King, Atlanta

PS. Ask your pastor how he or she is doing lately. Michael

Larry Moyer offers wonderful insight to Christian fallacies.

Misconceptions of God can be costly, because they can be very defeating. For example, it’s agonizing to me how many people think “Cleanliness is next to godliness” comes from the pages of Scripture. If this is indeed a word from God, then homemakers have every right to feel guilty that their house is not always tidy. In fact, depending on how far you carry it, people soon become more concerned about their furniture than they do their family. And what about “God helps those who help themselves”? I’ve seen this used as a basis for many people thinking they can work their way to heaven. They therefore miss the Biblical teaching that eternal life is free (Romans 6:23).

Here are five other misconceptions of God’s Word you’d be wise to spend a Sunday addressing. In fact, I think you’d be wiser to give one Sunday to each of these. I assure you, they are so rampant that you could easily spend a 30-minute message discussing each one. Most unfortunately of all, every single one of them in some way adversely affects our outreach to non-Christians.

1. If you don’t know the date you were saved, then you are not saved.

Unfortunately, evangelists have been the worst at propagating this first misconception. The fact is, there is a split-second when a person goes from darkness into light. After recognizing you’re a sinner and that Christ died for you and rose again, you place your trust in Him alone as your only way to heaven.

However, just because you don’t know when that particular split-second was doesn’t mean you aren’t saved. When Scripture gives assurance of salvation, it doesn’t go back to a date or a moment; it goes back to a fact. Who are you trusting right now? If you’re trusting Christ alone as your only way to heaven, you are saved, regardless of when you crossed the line. After all, John 3:16 does not say, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, and whoever believes in Him and knows the date should not perish but have everlasting life.”

This idea is critical, because if a person buys into this misconception, it’s a tremendous hindrance to their outreach for Christ. How can I talk to someone else about their salvation if I’m not entirely certain of my own?

True, some people come to Christ from a very sudden and dramatic experience, like the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8:26-39; he could have easily given you the date. And there’s no doubt the same thing was true of Paul the Apostle in Acts 9:1-22, 26-28; I’m sure he not only could have given the date, but he could have testified of the specific hour he trusted the Savior. But there are those whose conversion is not as dramatic. They may have been raised in a Christian environment, where Christ was spoken about frequently. Certainly at some point of time they came to clearly understand their sinful condition and trust Christ, but they may not know exactly when the moment occurred.

Minister deeply to your people and free them by telling them that as long as they’re trusting Christ alone, they are saved, regardless of when they crossed the line.

2. If you want to be saved, just invite Jesus into your heart.

Well-meaning people often use the phrase “invite Jesus into your heart.” They often base this on Revelation 3:20 where we’re told, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” With the phrase “stand at the door and knock” in mind, many picture the heart as a door where Jesus stands begging us to let Him in. Therefore, the lost are exhorted to “invite Jesus into their heart.”

However, that verse is addressed to Christians, not non-Christians. Verse 19 reads, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” Chasten means “to discipline” and is used of believers, not unbelievers (Hebrews 12:5-6). The passage addresses the church of Laodicea, one of the seven churches of Asia Minor in Revelation 2 and 3. Their wealth at the time had lulled the church into spiritual sleep; Jesus Christ described this distasteful condition as “lukewarm” and invites them to repent of their condition and make Him the center of their love and worship.

Additionally, in Revelation 3:20, the Greek translation of in to means “toward.” In a figurative language, Jesus is saying to Christians He will enter the Church and come “toward” the believer for fellowship. The word dine referred to the main meal of the day to which you invite an honored guest. It was a meal given to hospitality and conversation. Again, the issue is fellowship, not salvation.

Why is this phrase so dangerous to use in evangelism? There are those who “invited Jesus into their heart” and sincerely meant they were trusting Him as their personal Savior, and they are forever His. However, there are some people who think that by simply saying a prayer in which they “invite Jesus into their heart,” they’re saved. In this case, their trust is in a prayer, not in a Savior who died on a cross.

Ninety-eight times in the Gospel of John, the one book whose purpose was to tell us how to receive eternal life (John 20:31), we’re told to believe. It means “to trust in Christ alone as our only way to heaven.” There’s nothing wrong with someone praying to tell God they’re trusting Christ alone, but he/she must be aware that saying a prayer doesn’t save; it’s trusting Christ that saves.

Teach your people to use the right terminology. They should ask lost people to do what the New Testament asks them to do—believe—and this means to trust in Christ alone to save them.

3. When you miss an opportunity to share Christ with someone, it’s your fault if that person goes to hell.

Many believers don’t enjoy evangelism. When they do practice it, they often do it out of guilt, not grace. One reason people feel guilty is because they’ve been told that if they’re given an opportunity to share Christ but they don’t take it, they are forever responsible if that person goes to hell.
This false teaching is often based on the misuse of Ezekiel 3:18-19. There we read, “When I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.”

This passage has nothing to say about evangelism. God appointed Ezekiel a watchman (Ezekiel 3:17). His job was to warn of impending danger. The nation was doomed, and only through heeding their watchman could they survive. Chapters 4-24 of Ezekiel contain his cry of alarm, which gave those outside the walls opportunity to seek protection. It also gave the people time to secure the gates and man the defenses. The death spoken of in Ezekiel 3:18-19 is physical, not spiritual. The context is the Babylonian destruction of Jerusalem that Ezekiel predicted.

A person refusing to heed God’s warning from Ezekiel could expect physical death. Ezekiel was to warn the righteous, not just the wicked. If Ezekiel refused to speak God’s message to people who came to his house, he’d be guilty of murder. This is the meaning of “…but his blood I will require at the watchman’s hand.” By giving a warning, Ezekiel delivered himself from the responsibility of the coming judgment. Those who ignored his warning could only blame themselves. One can see the danger when this idea is applied to evangelism; all of a sudden, we become responsible for someone’s eternal destiny.

But bringing people to Christ is a God-sized job. It’s our job to bring Christ to the lost; only God can bring the lost to Christ. John 6:44 reminds us, “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.” Evangelism now becomes exciting. I do it recognizing that God is not holding me responsible for the results.

4. If you come to Me, I want either all of your life or none of it.

This one is said in different ways, but the meaning is the same. There are those who exhort, “You can’t meet God halfway. If you want to come to Christ, you must completely surrender to Him. God will only do business with you if you mean business with Him. He’s going to get all of your life, or He doesn’t want any of it.” What’s the problem here?

Look at the language in John 3:15, 3:16, 3:18, 3:36, 5:25, 6:47, 11:25-26, and 20:31. All of them make it clear that salvation is based on one thing: believing and trusting in Christ alone as our only way to heaven. The moment we trust Him this way, we are as certain of heaven as though we’re already there.

This misconception is, again, often based on a wrong handling of Scripture. To support it, verses are cited that speak of discipleship, not salvation. Every Christian should be a disciple, but unfortunately, not every Christian is. In fact, Christ warned people about the cost of discipleship before encouraging them to sign up (Luke 14: 26-27). Salvation is free, but discipleship involves a cost.

Here’s where the misconception becomes so defeating: Who of us at any given moment would say every single aspect of our life belongs to Christ? All of us have those aspects we hold back, and even if we do give them to Him, there are moments we take them back. If indeed He has to have control of my entire life, how can I speak to someone else about their salvation? This misconception presents new Christians with conditions that, as unsaved people, they’re not even remotely prepared to meet.

Encourage your congregation, when they speak to the lost about Christ, to explain that salvation is instantaneous, but discipleship is a process. Once they decide to trust and believe in Christ for salvation, wholehearted surrender and Christ-likeness become a goal to achieve with the help of the Holy Spirit and the fellowship of believers.

5. If you’re not willing to confess Christ publicly, you cannot be saved.

This misconception comes in different colors, and there are those who carry it to different extremes. Some are simply talking about admitting personally and publicly that you’re a Christian. Some go so far as to say one must walk forward in a church through what is commonly called the “altar call.” Either way, the understanding is given that if you don’t, you can’t be saved.

When addressing this misconception in a message, approach it positively, not negatively. Stress the importance of unashamedly telling people that you are a Christian. After all, if He was not ashamed of you, why be ashamed of Him? Such a confession plays a part in receiving eternal reward. A good passage to support this is Matthew 10:32-33, where Christ declares, “Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.” The context clearly explains that the issue is not eternal life; the issue is discipleship.

Then show your people that confession is not an issue of salvation by pointing out three things. The first is John 12:37-43. The miracles of Christ were designed to wave a flag before the Jewish people proclaiming Christ as God. Many refused to believe. John tells us, “…but although He had done so many signs before them they did not believe in Him.” Some, though, did believe. John 12: 42-43 says, “Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.” In the book of John, the words believe in are used consistently for saving faith. Jewish rulers had trusted in Christ the Messiah, who could save them from their sins. But confessing Him in public would have resulted in their excommunication.

You can also show them the many verses that condition salvation upon faith alone, apart from any public confession. For example, John 1:12 says, “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.” Romans 4:5 says, “But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness.”
You might also point your audience to the thief on the cross. The thieves on the cross were divided in their view of Christ. One extended the condition, “…if you are the Christ, save yourself and us” (Luke 23:39). The other placed his faith in Christ, asking, “Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom” (vs. 42). Christ’s response was the best news a dying man can hear. “Surely I say unto you, today you’ll be with me in paradise” (vs. 43). There was no way this dying thief could have told others of his salvation. He was saved by recognizing Christ as who He said He was—the only One who could save him from his sin.

Romans 10:9-10 is many times used to support the misconception that if you don’t confess Christ publicly, you can’t be saved. We read “…that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Above all else, it’s worth noting that the word righteousness in Romans 10:10 is a noun form of the verb translated “justify.” Romans 5:1 reads, “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Justified here means “to be declared righteous.” Therefore, the meaning of the first part of Romans 10:10 is, “…with the heart man believes and is justified before God.” But confession in Romans 10:9-10 is a part of what’s necessary to live a victorious Christian life. The context is arguing that one has to be willing to confess Him publicly in order to triumph over sin. For further explanation of this passage, I would direct you to my book, Free and Clear, which has a chapter entitled, “If I Don’t Confess Him, Do I Possess Him?”

Regardless, the passage itself clearly says that believing is what justifies a person before God. A public confession of Christ is very important, but the importance is not related to our eternal salvation. Upon trusting Christ, we receive His gift of eternal life. By confessing Christ consistently and unashamedly, we experience victory over sin and gain eternal reward when we see the Savior face-to-face.

Conclusion

Misconceptions can be damaging and defeating. The above five can be a particular hindrance in our outreach to non-Christians. The result is a confusion of the message, the questioning of our own salvation, and even a lack of boldness in speaking to others about the Lord.

A stagnant organization is a dying organization. Change means growth and growth means change.

Our criterion for change is never the latest “church growth” fad or the newest innovation of that church down the street. Change must be from the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Change for the sake of change is never appropriate. “This isn’t working; let’s try something different” is a blueprint for failure.

How does the wise pastor facilitate change? The Lord will normally give you the vision and direction He would have your people go before He gives it to them. This is not to say only you hear the voice of God. It’s not to say that good ideas never come up “through the ranks.” It is to say that the job of leaders is to lead, and that means getting out in front.

The key elements of change are information and patience

If a person says to me, “God told me,” I am going to walk away. If they say, “God told me to tell you,” I am going to run. If they say, “I sense the Lord is leading me,” I will listen.

Before introducing a bold new program to win the world, spend some Sundays preaching about Jesus’ compassion for the lost. Before you introduce that million-dollar building program for a new youth recreation building, preach about the needs of a dying generation of teenagers and the responsibility of the church to reach them.

Remind your people that the message never changes, but the means must be ever changing. The telegraph has been outdated by radio, radio by television, television by the Internet, and the end is not yet. Take your time, give adequate information, instill the vision, and try to get everyone on board.

Provide a forum in which to allow questions. What will happen if we do this? What will we lose if we don’t? What are the risks? What is the cost? Are there other options? Will there be a committee? Will this be done at the sacrifice of other programs in the church? God’s people are good people, and they can handle the truth.

When you begin a new ministry, don’t be afraid to experiment. Everything doesn’t have to be forever. While this is true, make every effort to see it through. Give new ministries time. Even the best will often struggle at first. The most common things that tear up Baptist churches are deacon-pastor conflict, worship wars, and changing too quickly.

In a new pastorate, members have enough of an adjustment to look up every Sunday and see a new face in the pulpit. It takes time to adjust to you before they’re ready to adjust to your changes. Reverse the order and you are doomed to failure. Don’t change anything quickly!

I could write a book on modern-day churches that lost hundreds, even thousands of members, in a few months. All were good churches with good pastors who had good ideas but bad timing. Too much too fast. Don’t!

Then John’s disciples came to Him, saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?” Jesus said to them, “Can the wedding guests be sad while the groom is with them? The days will come when the groom will be taken from them, and then they will fast. No one patches an old garment with unshrunk cloth, because the patch pulls away from the garment and makes the tear worse. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the skins burst, the wine spills out, and the skins are ruined. But they put new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved.” (Matt. 9:14–17)

Excerpts taken from Pastor’s Handbook by John Bisagno, B&H Publishing Group, copyright 2011. Used by permission.