Why Men Should Read Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In

Change depends upon women and men working together to transform the social structures of work and family life.

When the COO of Facebook writes a book about women and leadership, the world takes notice. Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, turned heads when it came out in March of 2013, and it sparked heavy criticism (see, for example, the Washington Post’s Recline, don’t ‘LeanIn’ (Why I Hate Sheryl Sandberg)) as well as praise for her wit, vulnerability, and encouraging words (see, for example, the New York Times’ Yes You Can). I’ve been listening to Sandberg’s manifesto on Audible for the past few weeks, and although I agree with Anne-Marie Slaughter’s Times article that Lean In contains some oversights and weaknesses, on the whole it contributes a valuable perspective to the contemporary conversation about women in the workforce.

Sandberg has given me a lot to think about both as a woman and as a Christian. I’ve spent some tearful conversations with my husband wondering whether I haven’t been ambitious enough. I’ve spent some prayerful moments considering what it means to lay down my life for my family while also stewarding the gifts God has given me. I’ve wondered about how to apply Christian values—particularly the value of humble confidence and mutual giving and receiving—to this conversation. Finally, I’ve felt anger at the system Sandberg describes—a system that rewards men and penalizes women for family and household participation (see the Atlantic’s recent article about Paternity Leave for more information here).

But more than anything else, reading Lean In has convinced me that in order for any positive change to occur, men need to participate fully in the conversation about empowering …