My wife passed this year from pancreatic cancer. This will be my first Christmas without her. Thankfully, I have my daughter, her husband and my two grandsons to keep me company. I have my good days and then there are other days. Sometimes, I confess, grief can be a means to keep her alive in my life. Today, my daughter and I made Christmas cookies which would have been something she would do. It was a comfort and pleasant.
I will not be posting on Christmas day. It is a day that belongs to my Savior and my family. I pray that God grants you those you love to share that day as well. Mary and Joseph spent that day enjoying their baby boy. God enjoyed that day looking down on His Son. Mary and Joseph could not comprehend what their child was going to endure. The Father knew exactly what His Son would bear and the reason for it: us.
But on the day of His birth, God simply joined Mary and Joseph marveling at the Child. I ask that you do the same. Marvel at your loved ones. Hold a baby if it is possible. Set aside all the death and sorrow that has been or will be. For that day and that moment, see your Savior wrapped in swaddling cloths and remember that they would wrap His body one more time as they placed Him in the tomb.
I shall feel that moment of grief when Marcia is not there to share Christmas morning with me. But I will spend most of my time enjoying my family and remembering all the Christmases that we shared together. What I shall remember most is the first Christmas Marcia and I shared with our newborn child, Megan. I see us as we all once were.
I can still she her sleeping in Marcia’s arms and I knew I was standing someplace sacred. In that moment, I was as blessed as I ever would be. That moment will always be mine by simply closing my eyes. I know that God still has much for me to do and I am humbled to serve. There will be more Christmases but they will always be the same for me. I will share them with my family and I will close my eyes and remember that first Christmas.
In time, when God sees fit, He will close my eyes so that I can do more than just remember. On that day, I will have no need of memories or grief. He will wipe the tears from my eyes and I shall see for the first time. Till that time, I look through a ‘glass darkly’ as the apostle described it. I will look upon my family. I will remember that first Christmas with my Marcia and Megan. And I will gaze at the child in the manger and simply take Him in.
I pray you may do the same this Christmas. For all that weighs upon your mind and heart, may you find that peace that comes from looking into a manger and enjoying that child with Mary, Joseph and the Father.